Birth in South Africa

What I Wish For: That Babies are Welcomed

Mother and Baby

This is what I wish for our futures: that babies when born are welcomed lovingly by parents awaiting their divine presence. When parents talk to their babies and listen in turn, babies in turn, become sociable beings. Talking and singing to your baby before birth during the pregnancy, is as important as talking and singing to your newborn baby after birth.

Babies are smart

Carry your children gently and firmly, respond to their physical needs for food, contact and comfort, sleep with them and they will flourish. Eye to eye contact encourages babies to relate. Babies learn to copy the expressions on our faces when we look at them. Babies also need time to zone out.

Young children grow best when they are free to learn and explore within a safe environment. Children respond to people who are kind to them and learn avidly. Children must learn that their bodies are sacred and deserving of respect. Parents teach this by respecting their children bodies. Children naturally express the healing skills of playing, crying and laughing and can heal themselves from the inside when they are truly listened to by their parents.

Aware parenting

I desire that children learn to honour their bodies, procreation and it’s sacredness, that honouring their whole person is part of honouring another. I sincerely yearn that children are never hit or treated with suppressive force or coercion, but parented with awareness. If this was our way of learning, would we tolerate manipulation, force or coercion?

Tips for talking to babies

  • Position yourself face to face with your baby
  • Ask for eye contact
  • Wait until they engage with you in eye contact
  • Smile, laugh and coo in a soft higher pitched voice
  • Wait for them to respond
  • Allow your baby to look away (feels overwhelmed)
  • Wait until your baby re-engages eye contact
  • Respond by smiling, talking and cooing in a soft higher pitched voice
  • Encourage this interaction daily
Real Connection, eye to eye contact and responsive expression

Find your voice

To relearn this path we need to heal, to cry and to release the pain of the ways in which we were not seen, heard or responded to as babies and children. We need good friends and family to listen, support, not criticise. This takes time and patience. We need to have enough, be enough and feel through to the way that is right for us. I thirst that each of us find our voices, stand our ground and resist being bullied by others. I covet that we source the solutions to the hurdles we face. And consciously love each other, carefully negotiating our relationships. I ache for each parent to be able to really connect with their children and respond lovingly to their cues.

What it means for the future

Indeed, healing ourselves, loving ourselves, loving our children, is the way of the future. When we raise ourselves and our children in peaceful ways, without violence and aggression, we in turn create a sustainable social future. A future in which humans will think clearly, act fairly, and feel deeply. There has never been another way and never will be.

What do you think?